After an Illinois divorce, the custody situation is often a fluid matter. As the children get older, they may begin to express their own preference about where they live. The children may tell you that they want to live somewhere else. Whether they want to move in with you or away from you, it is still a difficult conversation to have.
Communication with the children is important
The important thing is to have the conversation instead of avoiding it. Your children need to be heard, even if the truth is unpleasant for you. Sometimes, hearing what they have to say and addressing their concerns can help alleviate the situation. Above all, you should not panic. Children can think one thing today and change their mind tomorrow with the proper exchange of ideas. The first thing is to take a deep breath.
Let the children have their say
At the same time, you should not pressure the children and should give them their space. Never badmouth the other parent as part of these discussions because it can get you in trouble with the court. However, you need to talk to the other parent and let them know about what their children have said. It would be best if both parents and the children can come together to resolve the situation. If you can avoid rushing to judgement and taking the situation personally, there is a chance that you can head off the problem.
This situation can present some legal danger for you as a parent. Besides the worry about your ability to see the children and their stability, you could end up unwittingly breaking the custody agreement. It is best to contact a child custody lawyer to get advice about how to proceed. The attorney could assist you with suggestions for how to handle the situation in a manner that can keep you out of trouble and not weaken your legal position.